Nurturing healthy relationships
Did you know that we play a large role in how our kids view relationship? As they grow and develop their own sense of self and find themselves seeking relationship with others, what they saw modeled for them is the basis for what they view as “normal”. This is not just in how they see their parents in relationship, but also how we are in relationship with them. Is there mutual respect? Do we honor their opinion? Do they feel seen and heard? Do they feel safe expressing their emotions? Have they seen rupture and repair normalized?
Healthy relationships involve all of this! Mutual respect, having a voice, felt safety, emotional intelligence, repair. Our kids don’t grow up just knowing how to be in a healthy relationship. They have to have it modeled. They have to be able to see what it looks like. They need to practice and learn. This starts with you!
Take a moment and think about what your closest adult relationship is like. Consider what happens when you have disagreements. Do you slip into survival and go to the place of “fight, flight, freeze”? What about when you are making major decisions together. Do you feel the need to control the situation and make sure that you get what you want? Or how about when you are faced with a major stressor in your life that the two of you need to get through. Do you pull inward and perhaps even blame them for how hard things are?
Maybe you answered no to all of those suggestions. Maybe you fall into these traps at times but not always. Or maybe this resonates and you are realizing this is where you are at. Regardless of how you fall on the spectrum of these examples, the bottom line is, if we are not mindful of how we are in our adult relationships, how can we be sure we are modeling healthy relationships for our kids?
Modeling healthy relationships starts with us as the role models in our kids lives. Let’s model what healthy adult relationships look like, but also, don’t forget that our kids are learning about mutual respect and how to raise their own kids someday with how we parent them. If you find yourself yelling often, sending your kids to their room, feeling utterly annoyed or frustrated more and more, consider learning more about connected parenting. If we can provide our kids with a parenting experience that allows them to feel seen, heard and valued, we will not only start to feel more peace in our home, but we will raise kids to become parents who have healthy relationships with their kids. We will raise kids who become parents that see, hear and value our grandkids!
Interesting in growing in this area alongside other likeminded caregivers like you? Check out the monthly membership, Let’s Grow, HERE Not ready to take the leap into a community? That’s okay! You can listen to my weekly podcast, Mending Families, HERE